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BDSM / Kink: Getting started

Photo by Deon Black

BDSM and D/s relationships have become much more mainstream in recent years and can be exciting and rewarding for couples and individuals exploring them. Like all types of alternative relationship dynamics they also require communication, trust, and respect. It's important for couples who are interested in exploring these aspects of their love-lives to do so with care and caution.

Below are EIGHT TIPS for couples looking to add more BDSM or D/s elements to their relationships:

  • Start with communication. Communication is the foundation of any successful BDSM or D/s relationship. Couples should discuss their interests, boundaries, and desires before engaging in any BDSM or D/s activities. This can include discussing specific activities they're interested in, their comfort levels with pain and power exchange, and any fears or concerns they have about exploring BDSM or D/s.

  • Establish clear roles and boundaries. In a D/s relationship, one partner takes on the role of the dominant (Dom) while the other partner takes on the role of the submissive (sub). Being a ‘Switch’ means enjoying both roles. It's important for couples to establish clear roles and boundaries before engaging in any BDSM or D/s activities. This can include discussing what each partner is comfortable with, setting safe words, and establishing clear rules and protocols.

  • Take things slow. It's important for couples to take things slow when exploring BDSM or D/s. This can include starting with less intense activities, such as light bondage or sensation play, and gradually working their way up to more intense activities as they become more comfortable.

  • Prioritize safety. Safety should be a top priority for couples engaging in BDSM or D/s activities. This can include using safe words, establishing clear boundaries, and using safe and consensual methods for any physical activities........

Photo by Charlesdeluvio
  • Maintain Communication. Communication is key to maintaining a healthy BDSM or D/s relationship. Couples should continue to communicate regularly about their interests, boundaries, and concerns, and be willing to adjust their activities as needed to ensure that both partners are comfortable and satisfied.

  • AFTERCARE AFTERCARE AFTERCARE. Aftercare refers to the care and support given to participants after engaging in intense or emotionally charged scenes or activities. It involves providing comfort, reassurance, and emotional connection to help them process any physical or emotional experiences that may have occurred during the session. Common types of aftercare are things like: cuddling, eating snacks (eg chocolate / glucose lollies), words of affirmation, blankets, massages, baths.

  • Explore Resources. There are many resources available for couples looking to explore BDSM or D/s, including books, workshops, and online communities. Couples can use these resources to educate themselves and find like-minded individuals who can offer support and guidance.

  • Get professional help. At ENM Australia we offer 1-1 sessions for couples or individuals looking to explore BDSM. We also offer exclusive One-Day BDSM Experiential coaching for couples or individuals looking to dive deep and gain knowledge and practical experience immediately. Read more below. Otherwise book your 1-1 session now.


This is a one-of-a-kind education intensive! It's hands on and not offered anywhere else in Australia! If you are looking for immediate intervention, skill-building and a life-changing experience, this is the path for you. Over one day you will learn about:

  • BDSM theory and safety

  • Somatic Kink (Kink in the body)

  • Impact play (eg crops, spanking, floggers)

  • Role play

  • Shibari basics (Japanese rope)

  • Position training

  • The four elements of submission

  • Creating an authority figure (Dominants)

  • And more

This experiential learning is for individuals or couples at any stage of their BDSM journey. Please EMAIL us for pricing and available time slots.


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